Remembering Little Danny

On February 28, 2009 we found out that we were expecting. We were soo excited. We had been trying to have a baby for two years. We were full of joy to find out that we were going to be parents! I couldn't believe that it had finally happened.

On June 15, 2009 we found out that we were having a boy! Danny and I were so excited. Every thing seemed to be going great. With every doctor's appointment we had great news. The pregnancy was coming along great.  We couldn't be happier.

We starting making preparations for his arrival. His room was all set up...just waiting for him to arrive. Then after the long wait...that day came, however it was not how we expected it to be at all. I had imaged this day through my entire pregnancy. I imagined holding my baby for the first time, what would he look like? Would he look like me or Danny?  All the normal things a mom wonders about when they are pregnant. I could hardly wait for this day to arrive. At 36 weeks however, all of that joy quickly turned to sorrow when the doctor came in that morning and told us the news that I wish no one would ever have to hear. Our pecious baby's heartbeat had stopped beating. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't understand, I thought everything was going great. What happened? We were suppose to have a happy healthy baby. Why was thing happening to us? I didn't understand.

We delivered Danny Thomas Bunn, III at 7:27 pm that evening. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. He looked just like his daddy.  Words cannot describe what I felt at that moment. The greatest joy and yet the greatest sorrow I have ever felt. I was finally able to see and hold my son that I had been dreaming about for so long. He was so beautiful. Yet all I could do was cry knowing that we would not be able to take him home to the room that had been prepared for him. We had so many hopes and dreams for him, that would now never be. That night as I laid in the hospital room, I could hear the babies from the surrounding rooms crying. My heart was broken as I held my lifeless child in my arms. I wished so much that I could hear his cry, even for just a moment. I wished that I would wake up the next morning and it would all be a bad dream. I wished that I could have my child back. I didn't understand why God chose to take my child before we ever had a chance to know him.

We were surrounded with so many loved ones. The support from our friends and family have been so wonderful. I want to say thank you to everyone who has been here for us through this time, all the prayers, people who have visit us, the encouraging words, and to everyone who has sent us cards. Words cannot express our graditude for everything. It has been over a month now since little Danny went to be with the Lord, however the pain is still very real.  The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that God is in control, even when I don't understand, I know that I can trust Him. I don't know when the pain will ease...I don't know if it ever will. However, I do know that through this I have seen God at work in my life like I have never seen before. He continues to amaze me everyday. It has been through His strength that I am able to get up every morning and face a new day.

I hope that this blog will help in the healing process, and to keep little Danny's memory alive. Even though we didn't have long with him here on Earth, we miss him every day. He will live forever in our hearts, and we look forward to that glorious day when the Lord calls us home and we will be reunited with him again.